Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Balancing Act

Everyone who's been to college knows that it's a balancing act between classes, schoolwork, sleep, and sanity. Anyone with a chronic health condition knows that college can be a pain in the neck--especially if you have food restrictions.

The semester is, technically, "over", though I consider it no such thing until the grades are in (I'm waiting for all five...and for various reasons, not expecting to be happy with them). But the work is just beginning.

I'm taking the MCAT on July 2nd. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, the MCAT is a horrible, terribly, no good, very bad TEST. It's one of the most defining factors in the life of a future doctor--maybe THE most, including the Boards. If you want to go to med school, you need a wicked-high MCAT score, especially if your grades aren't wonderful. (Like I've said--various reasons, including several semesters of the worst luck possible with health and another few semesters of terrible teachers/mean teachers/overly harsh graders.)

So this summer I'm studying for the MCAT. But wait--there's more.

I have a full-time internship from June 4th to the end of the month.

I'm very excited about this internship. I'll be shadowing doctors and it was, apparently, very hard to get in to. (They accept 8 people, and I know that a LOT more than that applied.) This will be the highlight of my summer.

So MCAT and full-time internship. Doable, right?

Well, maybe. But additionally, I want to start real exercise this summer.

There's this program called Couch to 5K. It's supposed to get you up and running in 10 weeks. I really, really want to try it. And because I have this lovely undiagnosed (and apparently undiagnosable) breathing disorder, I'm expecting it to take me twice as long to get to the 3.1 miles.

I can't start until I see my podiatrist about my ankle. It's been hurting since February and while I've had issues with this ankle before, this pain feels like it's in the joint, rather than the muscles around it, where it's been for, oh, seven and a half years or so.

I get joint pain. That's why I wasn't too worried at first. But short of the elbow I broke when I was 12, I've never had joint pain that lasted for so long. I think I might've stress fractured it (though why it would continue to hurt for so long I don't understand). Regardless, it's time to get it checked out, and that must be done before I do any more damage.

If I get cleared for the exercise, I'll be "running" (read: dying of shortness of breath) three mornings a week. I'll also be doing most of my MCAT studying in the morning, before anyone is awake to bother me (which will probably be about 5:30 AM).

Why not wait until after the MCAT? Well, the program is supposed to take ten weeks. I'm expecting double that with my breathing issues, which will juuust put me into the second month of next semester, so I want to start ASAP. Also, last summer I walked every morning on the treadmill for an hour and forty minutes. (I pre-studied for organic chem and then read books on my Kindle during that time.) I felt healthier, more awake, and less hungry. I was more satisfied from the food I did eat, and I therefore didn't snack as much (not that I lost any weight, but my blood sugars haven't been stellar and I don't like it. Less snacking and less food overall=less carbs and a happier, healthier me). Also? Though it was never great, my breathing did have a general upward trend during the day. (From April 2012 until October 2012, I had the worse episode of shortness of breath I've ever had. It scared me terribly--I couldn't finish a sentence without taking a breath in-between. The worst part was that my pulmonologist couldn't do anything about it. She still can't, but at least I can breathe now.) I'd be happy to have less shortness of breath overall, even if it means a few weeks of hell to go through in the beginning.

I've made a schedule and, honestly, it doesn't seem doable. It involves very early mornings and somewhat late nights (I do best with 8 hours of sleep, because that's the amount my crazy fibromyalgia body insist on). I like nights and I don't like mornings, but there's something about getting up early that makes me NEED to do whatever it was that I got up to do. I studied for APs this way in high school--3 AM wakeups a few times a week. That got me a 4 on one of the hardest Calculus AP's ever given, after a year of learning zero from my teacher. I won't be getting up quite that early for this, but the idea of getting up at 5 or 6 or whatever and then spending the whole day on my feet in the hospital sounds...exhausting. And kind of unnerving.

We'll see where I'm holding after I take the sample tests online. So far, the Biology/Organic Chemistry section seems doable for me. I'm hoping the other two sections are as good or even better (not likely--at least not for Chemistry/Physics. Verbal will probably be okay). But at the moment, I'm freaking out.

And lets's not forget the amount of time that goes into making healthy (blood sugar-friendly) breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. That takes careful planning, carb-counting, and loads of patience. I don't know yet how I'll be balancing food and blood sugar during the days in the hospital. I'm not sure how accommodating they'll be. I don't really know much of anything about this position, and that scares the ever living daylights out of me, because I'm a planner and it scares me when I can't account for everything.

So this summer is...intense. It's the most action-packed summer I've ever had. It leaves ZERO room for down-time and lots and lots of studying, which I haven't even started yet. As long as it gets me into medical school, I'll be happy, but in the meantime, I'm worried.

Some balancing act. We'll see how well this works out.

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