It's Raining

You know that saying, when it rains, it pours? Well, sometimes it's wrong.

My blood sugars finally (FINALLY!) calmed down a couple of weeks ago. I don't know why, other than maybe the higher dose of Met finally kicked in. Maybe that was it. Or maybe it's because my body knew something else was coming.

Right around the time I started the Couch to 5K program, my fibromyalgia started acting up. It hasn't been terrible, but it's more noticeable than it's been in a while.

Sometimes my fibro's just joint pain and stiffness. Sometimes it's just muscle stiffness. Sometimes it's brain fog. Sometimes it's exhaustion. Sometimes my muscles bother me, with pain or without. Fibro is such a variable disorder with such a vast array of symptoms and so many different combinations that it can be hard to keep track of it all.

Lately, it's been my muscles, mostly without pain. I've had some on and off knee pain (my ankle doesn't count in this because it isn't fibro-related, but it's making itself known, too). I don't know if the exercise has anything to do with it--honestly, I hope it doesn't. I may not be enjoying myself, but I really, really want this exercise thing to work.

I haven't told anyone about my flare-up. I don't see much reason to. My sister would only get upset, my father wouldn't understand, my best friend wouldn't be able to help at all, and my close family friend who's the closest thing I have to a mother doesn't need to be upset.

Speaking of her (we're going to call her L here), she's been driving me home some days after shadowing. The past two times I've gone home with her, she's asked if I was up for doing the stairs before we went down to her car. She has three kids with major joint and back issues, so she understands, but I never expected her to ask. It feels strange to have someone check with me if I can do something, rather than whether I can eat something.

The truth is, no one ever asks me. My best friend takes the elevator with me if it's more than one flight up, but unless I ask, we always take the stairs down. (The one flight up thing is for my breathing.) My sister never, ever asks--to her, there's nothing wrong with me. My father is too oblivious to notice. If I'm shadowing a doctor, I don't say a word, even if they do ask.

Speaking of shadowing, I've been having trouble with that. My fingers and feet swell a little when I stand for too long, which feels a lot worse than it sounds. My knees get stiff when I stand and don't walk for a long time. It bothers my muscles, too. It's very frustrating, because I can't say a word, but I'm SO uncomfortable sometimes.

It isn't bad enough for me to consider meds yet. I'm not at the point I was when I saw the rheum in April--I was desperate then. Now, I'm just annoyed.

I'd rather the joint stiffness and muscle stiffness any day to this. This weird feeling in my muscles is awful. The swelling is annoying. I'm just so sick of this.

At least my diabetes is behaving. It's about freaking time.